New Year's Eve thread: Will you speak with Trump supporters in 2021?

Can they be "deprogrammed" from the cult? Is it worth it? Or are you already doing that?

Welcome to The Signorile Report, where you’ll read hard-hitting political and cultural commentary and exposés, hear interesting conversations, join in great discussions and get lots of other stuff.

A thread for all of you to jump in with your opinions on this last day of the year we can’t wait to let go.

My question here takes off on something we’ve discussed here as well as on my SiriusXM show — over and over — and really, something that just about everyone’s discussed since 2016: What to do with Trump supporters in your life, including family, friends, co-workers and neighbors?

I published an open letter in 2016, after the election, to a long-time but distant friend — someone I knew going back to childhood and with whom I kept in touch over the years — who I came to realize was a full-blown Trump supporter. It explained, in the headline, “Why We Can’t Be ‘Friends’ Any Longer After You Voted For Donald Trump.”

Realizing this person was a Trump supporter was shocking because in our few-times-per-year get-togethers or phone conversations it had not come up — though we’d not been in touch for the months leading up to the election. But then, after the election, seeing other people recounting similar stories, I went to her Facebook page, and there it was: Crazy, radical conspiracies and lies and distortions. Yes, the worst imaginable.

I felt I never really knew her. There was no way I could carry on any relationship with someone like this, which is what I told intermediaries who contacted me after she’d seen the open letter and was hurt by it. How could I, as a gay person, just put aside that someone voted for a man who would (and did) strip me of my rights — let alone putting the whole world in danger?

This person only seemed to get deeper in, having angry fights on Facebook with people who challenged her. Anyway, since this wasn’t someone close in my life at this time (and lived in another state), and since I have a job in which, part of the time at least, I’m spending a lot of time challenging Trump supporters, the thought of arguing with her to maintain a friendship seemed like it would be way too tense and ultimately pointless. And, as I said, I realized, after seeing that stuff, I never really knew her. But now I knew she voted for a racist and bigot and used insane rationalizations and believed nutty conspiracies, and it changed everything.

So, I cut it off. But I wonder to this day if she eventually came to her senses or not — I have a feeling not, and that she voted for Trump again. I blocked her on Facebook back then, only to unblock eventually because I thought it important that she at least see my anti-Trump posts. But she must have made her posts private beginning last January — and one of the last posts I was able to see was a post she shared — a crazy post about Trump being sent by God. So, no, I don’t think she snapped out of it. The thought of trying to even talk with someone like this seems enormously difficult — and I’ve done it a lot on the radio.

What about all of you? I know for many it’s people closer to you — even husbands or wives, children and parents, so that makes it much more difficult to just cut off. Some of you broke up relationships though, while others figured out ways to keep it together. Some of you are friends with neighbors who are deep in the Trump cult and you maintain the relationship. Others of you are at war with those neighbors.

So can they be “deprogrammed,” as this article discusses? Will you even try? Or have you already been dealing with/involved with these people and you just put that stuff aside and don’t talk about it? In this time when President-elect Biden is talking about unity, do you think you should try to reach out? Or maybe you’re more like, “Screw that!”

Jump in with your thoughts, comments and experiences. I’ll be coming back and joining the discussion. And here’s to a great and powerful 2021!